


Hot and Bothered

by bukkunkun



Series: The Player's Adventures in Offland [11]
Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Erections, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Other, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukkunkun/pseuds/bukkunkun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An innocent wank session ends up getting interrupted, and the Batter learns the beauty of endurance.</p><p>Silly inappropriate erections do somehow help in battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot and Bothered

**Author's Note:**

> Have some silly erection shenanigans. Written for a prompt on jerkin_off @ dreamwidth.
> 
> Also, this was written while I was listening to pop songs remixed with TF2 character lines. Yes. They are the songs of my people.
> 
> Part of the Offland series because Player shenanigans.

His hand was slick against his cock, wet with his own precum as he stroked himself in a dark corner of the mines, where the lights were off and the spectres’ eyes were far from him. He was panting hard, and heavily, and his body heated up underneath his clothes to the point it was almost suffocating, as around him the smoke got thicker around him.

He was choking on it, but that just turned him on all the more.

Grunting, he sped up his pace, his hand movements turning jerky and frantic as he reached his climax—

And suddenly he felt it—the familiar tugs on his body by invisible strings he knew that came only from his Player, and he groaned.

“No, no, no!”

Two rings of light surrounded him and he was back in front of a yellow save cube at the start of the mines. Hastily he pulled himself back into his pants, tidying up as fast as he could, and as soon as he pulled the zipper up, he felt his Player tug at his legs to get him moving.

Groaning, he silently cursed below his breath as he stiffly walked back into the area he was just at (under his Player’s orders, of course), cringing at the feel of his still-raging erection stiff and straight in his pants.

How horribly unfair, he thought to himself when he was ambushed by a bunch of spectres the moment he entered the darkness again. Thanks to his Player, he and Alpha made short work of them, but his erection was starting to get _really_ hard to ignore when he ran around a lot, jumping about to avoid attacks and the like and _god damn it_ his pants were giving him such sweet friction it was driving him crazy with the need to get off.

His hands, however, were tied. Metaphorically.

If that wasn’t bad enough, though, when he and his Player blazed through three ambushes and passed by an unknown amount of rooms, he heard them speak up.

“ _Oh, gosh._ ” They breathed. “ _Where’s the exit_?”

The Batter’s eyes widened. “You have _got_ to be kidding me,” he began to say, but he was lurched in the very opposite direction of the exit. “No, no! That way!” he tried yelling, but of course, communication was a one-way thing; the Batter could hear his Player (provided, of course, that their microphone was on) but his Player could not hear him.

So there he was again, walking around with a raging arousal tenting his pants, beating the stuffing out of the spectres, until finally, his Player had managed to stumble through the darkness of the mines. He met Zachary, who had introduced himself as the merchant that would provide the Batter with what he needed in his quest, but he could tell just from the playful tone in the man’s voice and the fact that his smirk, despite being invisible behind his mask, was practically oozing from his voice. It made the Batter squirm uncomfortably as his Player slowly picked through what Zacharie offered, and he noticed that Zacharie’s eyes were pointed right at the tent in his trousers. He glared at the merchant, who chuckled at him, before bidding his Player goodbye, and they were now headed into the next area of the Zone.

“ _Sachihata_?” he heard his Player echo the name of the area, as they approached the elevator. He blinked at the numbers on the control, his eyes wide. Six digits, he thought, now what was this all about?

_Which one could I get in quickly to get off?_

Shifting uncomfortably, he bit his lip and tried his best to not think about the boner he had left unattended in his pants as his Player lifted his hand and made him access the topmost floor. The rickety ride up the elevator was, while noisy and unsettling, too smooth for the Batter to tell how fast he was going up the building, but gritting his teeth in desperation, he quickly reached for his pants and undid the fly as fast as possible, gasping as he felt pressure alleviate on his straining crotch—

And _god-fucking-dammit_ , the elevator’s bell rang and he rushed to pull himself together before the doors slid open, revealing to him the coldness of the thin air at the roof. Here the scent of smoke wasn’t that strong as on the lower floors (especially the mines) but he sighed slightly in relief when he felt the coldness somewhat alleviate the heat in his pants. Awkwardly, he ambled out of the elevator to see the Judge walking around the roof. He approached the Judge, and before he could say anything, the cat had spotted him, and for a moment, he opened his mouth to speak, when his eyes moved down lower and an amused smirk crossed his face.

The Batter glared at him. _Not a word_.

The Judge’s eyes glimmered with what looked like amusement, but then he spoke up again, the topic completely unrelated on the tent at the Batter’s crotch.

* * *

The Player had taken a while in figuring out the floor to the postal office, and in the time inside the building, the air saturated with smoke and choking the Batter again and his boner raged right on the moment he had stepped into the lobby. He was grateful for small mercies, though, at least the Elsens didn’t know what the tent in his pants was all about, but it was _really_ getting to him that he should be taking care of this so he could actually pay attention to his mission of purification.

When he and his Player reached the postal service, it only got worse.

The ambushes the spectres did on them came with a rather loud bang that was quite the jump-scare to his Player, who couldn’t see it coming the way the Batter did. His Player scared easily, he had already known that, but _right now_ , when he had a libido burning at his mind and patience, it wasn’t the most helpful thing for his Player to be.

The squeaks and the squeals his Player does when the spectres ambushed them had somehow transformed from cute little noises the Batter found amusing to hear into erection fuel when the sounds escaping his Player’s lips turned more obscene in his ears.

“ _Ah_!”

“ _Nnh_! No! No!”

“ _Yaah~!_ ”

The Batter swore he heard them let out a most sexual moan through the microphone, and much to his discomfort, his cock was throbbing and twitching now with every move he made—the sounds his Player made, coupled with the delicious friction and pressure on his cock by his straining pants were doing _nothing_ in relieving his current predicament, and the Batter had to take up all his strength and willpower _not_ to come in his pants right then and there.

And _damn_ it was almost unbearably uncomfortable now—his precum felt sticky against his hard, hot flesh and his movements stiffened all the more as friction stimulated his oversensitive cock.

It was hardly fair, he thought, he didn’t even have control over his hands and it was all a most painful torture for him as his Player searched the areas of the Postal Service before putting the clues they found together and confronting the Elsen guarding the elevator.

The Batter, desperate for release, made quick work of the Burnt Elsen (he made sure his attacks came harder—hard as his erection, if he were to joke about it) and rushed into the elevator to allow his Player to make him input the floor, and they were once again moving forward in their progress.

“ _Wow, you sure work really hard today. Wonder why? It’s like, you’re landing criticals left and right, Batter._ ”

Gee, I wonder why, the Batter thought dryly, but something in him lit up upon hearing his Player praising him—on the downside, however, his cock stiffened up all the more.

Relief filled the Batter’s senses when he saw the yellow cube floating in the corridor ahead of him, and he heard his Player yawn.

“ _Ah, I’ll save for now and go to bed early today. Man, I’m really sleepy…_ ”

Thank goodness for small mercies, the Batter thought gratefully, allowing his Player to save their progress, and hurriedly wishing them a good-night (even though he knew they couldn’t hear him) and when he felt their strings of control slip off him, he quickly sat down at the corner of the room, and unzipping his pants in record time, pulling his cock out and hissing as the pressure and friction on it alleviated, and quickly he stroked himself, grunting in exertion and arousal as his pants grew heavier, his body heating right up again, and finally he reached his climax, a shuddering sigh of both pleasure and relief escaping his body as he slumped back in his position on the floor, blankly staring at the mess he had made on the floor.

“Finally,” he sighed to himself, shaking his head and straightening himself out.

Now, he had to wait again, but at least this time he won’t be running around kicking ass with a raging erection caught in his pants.

Suddenly, the strings came back, and a fond grin crossed his face as he felt his Player return to him.

“ _Oh, man, what the hell, it’s the Director’s Office; I’m totes pumped on kicking Dedan’s ass that I can’t sleep. Hi again, Batter. Hope you don’t mind your silly Player leaving and then coming back again._ ”

He chuckled, “It’s alright,” he spoke up to them, though he knew they couldn’t hear him, before gripping his bat resolutely and allowing his Player to guide him down the corridor to face Dedan. “I’m perfectly fine, anyway.”

He was, really. Even way before, raging boner and all.


End file.
